As Holden's condition worsened, the neonatologists and surgeons that worked with him told us they weren't sure what their next step should be. They were debating whether or not they should do a second surgery or just continue to give Holden time to heal. They explained to us that it was a very critical decision. If they did the surgery, they may be able to find and fix whatever was stopping Holden from healing. However, if all he needed was more time to heal then the surgery may set him back irrevocably. We felt completely helpless and were frustrated and discouraged that the professionals were questioning how to help as well. We, along with many family and friends, prayed and fasted that the doctors would be guided to know what to do for our son who was suffering. There is no explaining how it felt to watch Holden go through this pain. All I wanted to do was scoop him up and take him far away from this place filled with tests, surgeries, needles, equipment and uncertainty. I felt like I was failing in my responsibility to protect him. I just wanted to make him happy. I once again did all I knew how to do and prayed to my Father in Heaven. I had never prayed harder, more sincerely, or with more faith than I did during these weeks. This is one prayer that I remember very distinctly. I walked into the little room attached to the NICU that Jared and I had been staying in and got on my knees to beg Heavenly Father to send divine comfort to my son, the kind of comfort that only He could give. I cried and pleaded with Him to send angels to surround my sweet little Holden and fill him with peace. After offering the prayer, I rose from my knees and walked back to Holden. Jared, who was standing beside Holden and was unaware of my prayer, turned to me as I approached and said that he could feel angels surrounding the bassinet.
We know that Heavenly Father loves His celestial son with a perfect love and was there for him during every second of his sacred Earthly mission. Proven to us time and again is the fact that mortality is such a small part of our eternal existence. There is so much more. The veil has been made thin for us and through sacred experiences we have come to know with an absolute certainty that we are being carefully watched, helped, and strenghtened. We have truly felt the palpable strength of angels.
D&C 84: 88 "And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."
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